BUTTER CHAPTERS 9-12
Rika and Reiko are discovering themselves a bit more and have a vision of who they want to be. Reiko is kind of sneaky for telling half truths is what I call them. Kind of scary when Reiko disappears a bit, thinking she has become another victim of the Kajii murders. That’s what I thought.
I’m curious to know why Asako uses so many similar names in this book. I’m having a hard time keeping up. I have to read a little slower to understand who is who and how it call connects. It reminds me of any story my mom / aunts / uncles would try and tell me but I could never follow. They kept mixing up their pro nouns for people and I had no idea who said what in their story. I would end up just nodding my head until the story was done just so could vent their hearts out. Oh the chisme!
Kajii has this ability to get into Rika’s head. She just knows all the things to say, and all the words that could love and hurt. Kinda wild to assume that Rika is “just like her” because Rika killed her father. But then again, I can see some similarities.
Just like a parent sometimes. My mom would always project her insecurities on me and tell me how to live without her experiencing the very thing she is telling me to do. And as someone that is truly just trying to live and create my own experiences, I still listened even when the decision was not the best and I knew it. For example, staying at a job making $25k / year with a bachelor’s degree. My mom was like, stay you will work your way up. It doesn’t look good to jump jobs. So I stayed and it just got worse. Barely affording anything, and bills just piled up. That’s when I stopped listening to any advice she told me, which was hard because I grew up in an environment where I was told to “obey your parents” and “listen to them.” I was 24, and that was the last time I listened to anyone directing my future.
Kajii mentions that people are already dead on the inside. They don’t experience life or learn how to live. Getting sucked into this picture of having a family, owning a home, not traveling, and not experiencing the life around us. Which isn’t technically a bad thing, but I just couldn’t see myself not knowing what was out there.
I see old friends doing their thing, traveling, growing families, starting their own businesses, and it’s amazing to see. I just think it is so cool to be able to do exactly what you want and owning your time.